My how my baby's grown!Wow! Time has flown and yet at the same time its kind of dragging. I don't remember being this anxious for the baby to finally be here last time. I'm glad to have the holidays to fill my time and keep me busy, though it makes it hard too. I've got big issues with the holidays (Christmas) that makes me kind of a control freak now and when I don't get enough sleep poor Andrew bears the effects of that stress. Poor guy. We have talks at night about how mommy is sorry for losing it lately. I really hope it doesn't affect him long term. Yeah, I think about this stuff.
I guess its a good and a bad thing that this is the second time around. I mean, its good that I know what to expect when the baby comes...but then again, I know what to expect! I tell you practically every aspect of the last pregnancy and birth was pretty traumatic for me. The good thing is that I really can/need to expect and look forward to good things this time, especially as I have already had many of my prayers answered. As I mentioned in a previous comment and posts, Heavenly Father has really taught me a lot this time. One thing I have learned from Him is that while suffering and trials are a common part of the growth process in this life, it isn't absolutely necessary in all lessons learned. If we simply humble ourselves enough to let go of the things we think we know He will teach us the truths that are necessary to grow closer to him, and sometimes that even means, yes, avoiding trials and suffering. While I didn't suffer from so much of the "normal" afflictions of pregnancy, I was able to walk a different, difficult but highly educational and rewarding path. I've come to a closer understanding as to how to become more like the Lord and understanding what he is trying to communicate to me.
One thing that I pondered a lot before getting pregnant was--this may sound funny--weight gain. Last time I gained quite a bit, and something about it didn't seem right. I began my personal thorough study of nutrition soon after Andrew was born and found the raw food diet that rang true to me, to my spirit, as the way to treat our temples, or bodies.
I soon began to realize what a gift these bodies truly are, as this life is not possible without them and they allow us to experience such lovely things in this life, and also they set us apart as being one step closer to being like the Lord, unlike those who rejected his plan before this world was. As I learned more about the raw foodist ideas, (granted I have come to a more moderate view of eating,aka, I DO include some cooked food) I started studying the raw foodist ideas on pregnancy. Did you know that generally, from that school of thought, you shouldn't gain more than approximately 20 pounds while pregnant? And why would you need too? When you are giving your body the nutrition it needs, your temple is more pure, less toxins are being stored as fat, thus less weight gain.
I wish more people understood just WHAT IS IN FOOD these days. Part of that would include the additives- salt, and what not...SPECIFICALLY SALT. It really is very toxic for the body. Yes our body needs salt, but if we eat food the way the lord made it, the way it is intended for our bodies, we get enough. Studies have shown that the impact of unnatural/ an overload of salt can cause edema, specifically during pregnancy. This is commonly known but do people understand that this is because salt is so toxic that the cells in our body our having to pad themselves with a huge barrior of water to protect themselves from it, and even more so when our bodies are trying so hard to work at keep toxins away from our unborn children. Literally--we take in more salt--we will be more thirsty to PROTECT our bodies.
I actually have been avoiding salt to the extreme the past few months, since I AM pregnant and more prone to swell. I really didn't want to swell, though I started wanting salt and became a bit perplexed about it. Well this might also sound funny, but I pray about how to care for the baby and my body, and at times what to eat. One night, after such an occasion I had the random thought/picture in my mind CELERY. I thought, "Gee that's random and odd. Maybe a coincidence." But I couldn't get it out of my mind. That next day I decided to look up the nutritional value of celery, and just randomly, the nutritional value of most of what I'd been eating lately, (which happened to be lots of fruits, with very little sodium/salt--this wasn't purposefully, it just happened to be what I'd been craving.) Well it turned out that celery is one of the highest natural sources of sodium and also vitamin K, and for some reason celery has proven in studies to have the opposite effect of salt(aka, it will cleanse the body of any excess salt AND retaining water) After I read that I realized once again how perfectly he planned for us and our bodies in this life. Again it reaffirmed to me how important it is to lean on him rather than man for knowledge. How perfectly he balances his creations. I started snacking on the celery daily for awhile, (assuming from what I'd been eating, and the sodium in celery, that I did need sodium.) And not that there were any life changing outcomes, other than I stopped wanting salt, but guess what. To this day, no swelling in this pregnancy, even after whole days on my feet, carrying Andrew too, holiday shopping, even going jogging. Awesome, huh?
So back to the weight gain thing. So I really have focused on trying to feed my body and the baby in the way that Heavenly Father would want, in a way that shows respect for the trust he has given me in sending this child to our family, and in gratitude for this body I have been given. In return I have also developed not only a closer bond with the baby, but a greater love for my body. I am starting to really see how beautiful the changing pregnant body is. Not to say that seeing my body grow a lot bigger than it normally is doesn't have its challenges. If you didn't know, I'm a tad of a control freak. Not in a self-labeling, extreme way, but just in little things here and there. I don't let it define me. Because I know these flaws in life are temporary stepping stones in understanding how to be like the Lord. I have accepted that I am am one rough work in progress :)
So again the weight gain, control thingy. I like to pretend that since I don't gain like before I now have control of how much weight I gain while pregnant. When I start gaining fast it kind of scares me. I got so big so fast last time that it made me feel terrible. I was one miserable whale. Not that anyone really knew that. I like to keep those feelings to myself, who wants to listen to a complainer, right?
So I guess that is what I'm working on right now. More of a moderate approach at "controling my life". And for the raw unbelievers out there, no I don't starve myself, I truly eat as much as I want, it so happens that I am satisified more without having to crave and gorge junk like pregnancy does for a lot of women, including how it did for me last time. I think I can actually count how many occasions I've had really true junk, usually once for each holiday. I've learned that sometimes its good for relationships and memories to indulge. That control thing just barges it nasty head in though and then I think, oh no, I'm going to balloon, I won't be able to stop eating junk. But then I remember how much I love my baby and body and am grateful to Heavenly Father for both and I realize that I don't have to worry about it. And I go back to my healthy eating. Yeah, its an annoying tug-o-war in my head. Glad you don't have to be there, lol.
With that said, I've really worked hard at keeping healthy and at the same time trying not to watch the scales. I don't try NOT to gain, I just freak if it happens fast. Of course I seem to gain a bit pretty fast, then nothing for quite awhile, than a bunch pretty fast again, then nothing again for awhile. Makes my head spin trying to control my control tendencies lol. That being said I am impressed that I haven't even gain half of what I gained last pregnancy (52 pounds). I think at this point I weigh in at 127, giving a total of 13 pounds gained. So if the baby is about 5 Lbs now and with extra maternal weight gain in blood volume, breastfeeding preparation, placenta and what not, so far I shouldn't have much to really lose after the baby is born. And truly if I am getting the right nutrition for the rest of the pregnancy and when I breastfeed, then I really shouldn't have much a need for extra fat gain, especially since most fat is actually toxins anyways. We'll see what happens. I don't think I'm gonna go much past 39 wks at most with this one either so I doubt the baby will be as large as last time. (Andrew was 8lbs 8oz, born around 1 1/2 wks past my due date, depending what date was used)
I say I doubt that this baby will be past my due date b/c I'm actually already dilated, since, I think...September? And I think last I checked, I'm like 2 cm, and I've been having a few pretty good contractions every week for the past couple months, and if that continues....well I've concluded that yes, either this baby will be earlier or I'm gonna have one short labor!!
I actually had 2-3 really good contrax last night right as I was nodding off too sleep. I had several totally differing thoughts run through my mind. One-"Gee, this feels just like when labor started with Andrew, these are some GOOD ones." Two- (I'm actually pretty sure was the spirit) "Yes, and it really is time to SLEEP, NOW. " Three- "I've been working myself up over the pains of labor that will be coming and, gosh now I remember what it feels like,"(then laughing silently) "Why did I think it was that bad? This feels like a balloon blowing up inside me, I can feel it stretching me! lol." Four- "Oh wait, this was only the beginning part, thank goodness the Lord gives a lead into the hard part." Five- (at about the third one I think, pretty sure the spirit again.) "Seriously need to sleep, NOW, its not time for more of these." Six- (like the little kid who just has to get in the last word) "Ok why, last time, didn't I force myself to relax and sleep like I am doing right now. Pretty stupid of me." (just to explain this thought, I was in labor from 12 in the morning 'till about 6:30 the next night, no sleep the entire time, with no drugs. I was just a TAD tired!)
Well speaking of, its time I head to bed, gotta stay on top of that sleep while I still can!
Oh, and I have more pictures to come...
